“I think one thing you can do to help your friends who are depressed is to reach out to them not in the spirit of helping, but in the spirit of liking them and wanting their company. “I’m here to help if you ever need me” is good to know, but hard to act on, especially when you’re in a dark place. Specific, ongoing, pleasure-based invitations are much easier to absorb. “I’m here. Let’s go to the movies. Or stay in and order takeout and watch some dumb TV.” “I’m having a party, it would be really great if you could come for a little while.” Ask them for help with things you know they are good at and like doing, so there is reciprocity and a way for them to contribute. “Will you come over Sunday and help me clear my closet of unfashionable and unflattering items? I trust your eye.” “Will you read this story I wrote and help me fix the dialogue?” “Want to make dinner together? You chop, I’ll assemble.” “I am going glasses shopping and I need another set of eyes.” Remind yourself why you like this person, and in the process, remind them that they are likable and worth your time and interest.
Talk to the parts of the person that aren’t being eaten by the depression. Make it as easy as possible to make and keep plans, if you have the emotional resources to be the initiator and to meet your friends a little more than halfway. If the person turns down a bunch of invitations in a row because (presumably) they don’t have the energy to be social, respect their autonomy by giving it a month or two and then try again. Keep the invitations simple; “Any chance we could have breakfast Saturday?” > “ARE YOU AVOIDING ME BECAUSE YOU’RE DEPRESSED OR BECAUSE YOU HATE ME I AM ONLY TRYING TO HELP YOU.” “I miss you and I want to see you” > “I’m worried about you.” A depressed person is going to have a shame spiral about how their shame is making them avoid you and how that’s giving them more shame, which is making them avoid you no matter what you do. No need for you to call attention to it. Just keep asking. “I want to see you” “Let’s do this thing.” “If you are feeling low, I understand, and I don’t want to impose on you, but I miss your face. Please come have coffee with me.” “Apology accepted. ApologIES accepted. So. Gelato and Outlander?””—
P.S. A lot of people with depression and other mental illnesses have trouble making decisions or choosing from a bunch of different options. “Wanna get dinner at that pizza place on Tuesday night?” is a LOT easier to answer than “So wanna hang out sometime? What do you want to do?”
where can i find more info about river, song, and the night sky???
Song and Night Sky, I’ll be posting about occasionally here. I have more sketches that I intend to take to finish soon - Song visiting the gods, Night Sky in her natural element, a couple more of Song and River. Bits of the story will go up with them. You’ll find River at ThatDamnCrow (on tumblr) tagged ‘art’ or in the tag ‘River/Revuer.’
Thank you very much! I’m so happy you’re interested.
What fucks me up about the Darren Wilson fundraiser is that he hasn’t been charged with a crime. He doesn’t have to hire a lawyer. He’s on paid leave, so he’s not losing wages. This is not covering his expenses, because he…
Protests in the St. Louis suburb have continued since Saturday (August 9th). Here’s what we know about the events of the past few days.
And in the nature of keeping everyone in the loop, please reblog this link if you’re going to spread word about it. It’s just a list, impartial, a great way to know everything from start to current events.
ATTENTION HIGH SCHOOL STUDENTS GRADUATING IN 2015.
Fill this out.
It is a scholarship THAT PAYS FOR ALL OF YOUR COLLEGE THROUGH GRADUATION.
I know a friend who had it, and its amazing. Four years of college — at any school of your choice in the United States. Harvard, University of Louisiana, UCLA — it COVERS IT.
Don’t go into debt for school, be part of this prestigious program.
Who is eligible?
African American, American Indian/Alaska Native, Asian Pacific Islander American and Hispanic American students with high academic and leadership promise who have significant financial need;
Spread this Black Tumblr. This better have over 1,000 notes by morning because this will literally CHANGE SOMEONE’S LIFE.
This scholarship was promoted every year at my high school you have a 3.3 gpa volunteer work school activities and you gotta write like 10 essays this scholarship pays for every level of education you wanna pursue including PHD’s. Deffff worth the effort
I watched three people win this scholarship over the course of my time in high school and trust me, it’s one of the greatest opportunities out there for POCs. If any of my followers are still in high school, get on it!
Capitalists:Capitalism is the best system because it works by the laws of nature. Darwin! Natural selection! Only the strong survive!
Kropotkin:Actually, Darwin pointed out that in numberless animal societies, the struggle between separate individuals for the means of existence disappears, that struggle is replaced by co-operation and how that substitution results in the development of intellectual and moral faculties which secure to the species the best conditions for survival.
3. Stop saying “This can’t be happening in America.”
I understand the impulse, I really do. But that impulse only comes to those who are insulated and isolated from how America treats poor people and people of color every day. Langston Hughes wrote “America never was America to me” in 1935. If you didn’t quite understand that poem in your junior high or high-school lit classes, read it again, while you think about what’s happening in Ferguson. Let it sink in.
If you live in an urban environment, you’re in a position to bear witness and document inappropriate and abusive police behavior. If you see an African-American neighbor being detained by police, wait to see what happens. Get your phone out. Download the ACLU’s “Police Tape” app, and if you see something that looks off, take a video that will upload directly to their servers, in case your phone is confiscated. Whatever police may tell you, this is your legal right.
7. Educate yourself about the systematic inequality that leads to civil unrest.
The St. Louis American ran a powerful editorial today that fleshes out the history of Ferguson. When you finish reading that, go somewhere quiet for a bit and settle down with Ta-Nehisi Coates’s “The Case for Reparations.” Don’t stop there.
If you don’t have any African-American friends, you might want to think about why that is.
10. Okay, go ahead and tweet.
And Facebook. Tumblr. Instagram. Vine. Amplify the voices of people on the ground, and help counteract the damaging narratives being propagated by some mainstream media organizations. It’s the very least we can do.
For white people wanting to know what they can do to help.